>"and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free."
Father I bow myself to You. The truth I seek does not always feel good once received. You nor Your son ever said that the journey and revelation of truth would be pain-free. It is my desire to no longer hurt that makes me desire a freedom in truth that is painless. This desire is also slowing down the process of You revealing all to me sooner. Father I'm torn from wanting to know the whole truth and wanting to live a life with the least amount of pain as possible. I've endured so much in my life that I assumed the joy that I was feeling would last much longer, help me move forward into the future, and be something different than what I am accustomed to experiencing.
Friction brings the most beautiful diamonds to surface. Penetration of darkness is the only way for light to shine through. Nothing is easy. Nothing is pain-free. I understand this but it is still something that I struggle with- so today I pray to You for strength to endure this pain. That as You reveal more in my life that I am made stronger to endure, to walk with my head up and shoulders back. I pray that no matter how many lies I encounter- Your truth will always be known to me.
I pray for the strength that when You tell me my lesson here is learned and it is time for me to move on to the next one, that I can do so without resistance or fear. Father help me. Thank You for Your favor. Thank You for Your unconditional love. When I can't rely on man to love me fully, I know that You and Jesus have, do, and always will. Thank You Father. In Your son Jesus' name I pray. Amen.
This is going to be a deep and revealing message today. I share with the world because my loving relationship with God and Jesus is no longer a private one for me to tuck inside myself. If we are to grow and become truly one with God, and build His Kingdom- we must openly share our trials, tribulations, and testimonies so that we can all learn and see God's presence protecting and guiding us.
Several weeks ago I asked God to show me the truth about a situation. I asked Him to open my eyes and reveal the truth. What I did not truly understand was that this revelation would hurt so bad that it would be hard to breathe, think, or sleep. My body is in pain- but I am pressing forward knowing that it won't last long. These past few months have been cutting at me like quick slices from a knife, or millions of paper cuts. To find out that my reality was a lie has been so painful to accept. The reality is that I ignorantly believed I was placing God first in my life and in all of my decisions, when in actuality I was putting myself first. I was putting my wants before the needs God has put His 'stamp' of approval on.
As I pray, those around me tell me that I am to wait for God's instruction as to what to do- I'm not to flee nor make my situation worse- I'm supposed to sit silently and pray for His message. I have also been counseled to not go deeper because I will be tricked into believing the lie, and it is not God's reality, nor is it His plan for my life. But I must sit still and wait for Him. That is so troubling to me. It is so painful. I'm not sure what lesson I am supposed to learn exactly. Am I supposed to acknowledge one or all parts that I see presently? Is there more? How will this help me be a better child, steward, and ambassador to God? What is this experience preparing me for? I feel like a fool; like a naive child who should have known better, who should have paid attention to the warning signs but did not. Am I too nice, too loving, too generous, too giving of my heart? Jesus said to keep our eyes and minds always alert so that we can see when light as well as darkness is approaching. I trusted that I was walking next to light- and now I wonder if I'm wrong- or if darkness is seeping its way in to try to overshadow this light I trusted; or trying to cast a shadow over my light.
The truth will make us free. It may not be pain-free initially, but freedom from shackles hurts at first until you've been free for some time. I am waiting to be free. I am waiting for the lesson to be realized so that I can stop repeating this. I know this is a repeated lesson because the feelings are the same. The messages in my dreams are the same. The messages that come to me throughout the day are the same. I must see and know the truth in total- so that I can move forward on the path God has for me. I cannot be concerned with the temporal but the eternal. I cannot be consumed with what feels good, but what is of God- and nothing that is of God would ever make me feel the way I do.
If any of you can empathize with today's prayer and reflection please share this message with others, and please share your testimony and how you grew or are still growing from your experience. Do you have any words of wisdom to help those of us struggling with seeing and accepting the truth, learning our lessons, and moving forward?
As every day, I pray for all of you and I pray that you are doing the same in return for me. Let Your Sunday be exceptional as God blesses you every second you breathe and every time your eyes blink. There is no greater than God and Jesus. True love and joy only comes from a relationship with them. Know yourself so you can know them. I want to quickly thank my mentors and family members that have been a rock and source of support and love, especially these past several weeks. I also want to thank my guardian angels. I can't see them- but I definitely feel their presence. God bless all of you.
Copyright 2010. Natasha L. Foreman. Some Rights Reserved.
All Prayers and Reflections are Copyright Protected by Natasha L. Foreman.